It has been one year this month since I started staying home full-time with the kids. I quit a great job that I am still paying student loans on so that I could have (and will be for a LONG time!) so I could stay home with them. Now my days are filled with changing diapers, breaking up endless fights between my 4yo and 2yo, listening to my 2yo do a high pitch squeal for 30 minutes straight in the car almost every day, cleaning up endless messes, putting my 4yo and 2yo in timeout for a variety of reasons, making meals that I hope my 2yo won't immediately throw on the ground, trying to live on an impossible budget, and hoping my husband will be home in time to tell our 4yo goodnight before she goes to sleep (our 2yo is definitely already asleep). And sometimes I have to admit that it crosses my mind how much easier life would be if we had my income and I just took the kids to daycare. How I could eat lunch in peace and grab my starbucks on the way to work like I used to, listen to my radio station in peace, have real conversations with adults. But right about then my 4yo says "your the best mom in the world" and blows me a kiss from across the room, or my 2yo lays his head on my shoulder and says "I love you Mommy" and I remember why. I remember that one day not too long from now I will be driving to work drinking my starbucks and my babies won't be babies anymore. They won't ever need me the way they need me now again. I will have plenty of years to make money and not have to worry about the bills, to have "peace" in my car and at lunch. I can never get these years back, so while I may not enjoy the hard parts of being a stay at home mom, I have a feeling I am going to miss these days, even the hard parts.
